Jumping the hurdle 

  so today…. 

The head zaps are still there, as I wean myself off the antidepressants. However today it’s joined by an in coming cold. I just want to go home put my head under the covers and not face anything. 

But I soldier through work and the other challenges I face today. 

My car was recently in the garage for repair through the insurance – since getting it back I’ve noticed the colour match is rubbish and the paint is bubbling. I return my car to them – my pride and joy – my Nissan 350z my dream car – the car I look at and it makes me think  not doing so bad at life – the car that drives me away when I need to escape. They give me a Nissan micra as a replacement – bleurgh!!!

  
They call me up – this bubbling is not our fault – we argue – I remain calm while putting my argument across. I hang up and phone the insurance company to complain. 

This is the things that scare me, how to people not on antidepressants cope when life throws them lemons, how do they have the energy to make lemonade? – I usually get angry at everyone around me, scream, shout, cry, throw things. 

So this is it challenge number 1. Can I deal with the suituation. Can I talk about it calmly, can I avoid it getting in the way of my relationships with my boyfriend and friends, who would usually take the brunt of it. If only I didn’t have these stupid zaps and onset of a cold I could go to the gym and burn out some agression – but for now hopefully rubbish TV and a hot bath will help me forget the stresses of today. 

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