The head zaps are still there, as I wean myself off the antidepressants. However today it’s joined by an in coming cold. I just want to go home put my head under the covers and not face anything.
But I soldier through work and the other challenges I face today.
My car was recently in the garage for repair through the insurance – since getting it back I’ve noticed the colour match is rubbish and the paint is bubbling. I return my car to them – my pride and joy – my Nissan 350z my dream car – the car I look at and it makes me think not doing so bad at life – the car that drives me away when I need to escape. They give me a Nissan micra as a replacement – bleurgh!!!
This is the things that scare me, how to people not on antidepressants cope when life throws them lemons, how do they have the energy to make lemonade? – I usually get angry at everyone around me, scream, shout, cry, throw things.
So this is it challenge number 1. Can I deal with the suituation. Can I talk about it calmly, can I avoid it getting in the way of my relationships with my boyfriend and friends, who would usually take the brunt of it. If only I didn’t have these stupid zaps and onset of a cold I could go to the gym and burn out some agression – but for now hopefully rubbish TV and a hot bath will help me forget the stresses of today.