Starting over 

Before Christmas saw the breakdown of my relationship…. I say breakdown, we had an argument he text to say it was over. 

So it’s over. And I was okay. 

I never thought I would be okay, I don’t think my friends and family thought I would be okay. But I was, am. 

There’s perhaps a big reason for this okayness, which I’ll explain in later blogs. But isn’t amazing I think, how far I’ve come…. Changes, breakdowns, relationships caused me to self destruct…. Attempt suicide… Cut… Cry.

But I’m okay.

It’s not the end of the world. I’ve sorted out the lease for the flat we shared. I can even have a cuppa with my now ex and feel almost normal. 

So I know I’m getting better… I can manage my mind… Yet I can’t help but feel my depression, anxiety, insecurities drove him away. That I’ll never be able to not drive people away. 

So I thought, maybe I should blog, blog my way through life… Put my thoughts down, before I shout about them. Even go through what I’d write down in my head and see if it helps. 

We’ll see. 

Back to work tomorrow. 

Life starts again…. But this year might be different, and end on a high… 

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