The bizarre world of happiness 

So I’m dating my bestie… And it’s strangely awesome. Yet that niggle in the back of my mind tells me relationships always start well for me… I’m happy, attentive, sexy, funny, enthusiastic… Then something falls… Something slips… I change, depression aniexty hits, I become moody, and horrible, I cry, I change. 

Sometimes I think… I’m just not with the right person… God I hope this is true. 

Sometimes I think it’s me… Destined to be alone, well not alone my depression cloud beside me. 

My wonder man and I have known each other three years, he’s been terrific, honest with me, mopped my tears, I’ve told him everything… And perhaps this is what I need a friendship relationship. 

I think back to my first love whom I adored… He was my best friend for long before we dated. Maybe that is the key to keeping me happy. 

I just want contentment, I’m terrified if my irrational mental state throws this relationship away I’ll also lose my best friend…. 

But at the moment I’m happy…. Let’s just take it slow. 

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